Question by Atheist Nun aka GenaneF: Just looking for an outsider’s viewpoint…are my husband and I incompatible/drifting apart?
Or is this normal crap from 5+ years of marriage?
Breif synopsis:
My husband and I have been married for about 5 1/2 years now, and at first, we were so into one another and in love. It seems this novelty wore off when we went through a bout with difficulty conceiving our only child together, about 2 years into the marriage. Things just haven’t been the same since then.
Now I realize we have little in common anymore. From music tastes to food tastes, and all points beyond and in between, we are as far apart as two people could have drifted. I daydream of meeting a man with passion, fire and drive. I feel so tapped out in this “arrangement” with him. I feel like I’m his mother and not his wife. I work part time, and he works full time. But, I do EVERYTHING. And, when I say everything, I mean wipe the baby’s ass, Cook breakfast, cook dinner, cook lunch, dust, mow the grass, clean the floors, do the laundry, arrange appointments for the kids and pets, remember said appointments and keep them, deal with my combat PTSD, handle own my VA appointments and counselings, vaccum, help my son with his homework, shop, pay bills, deal with contractors and basically I parent both kids alone for the most part ( I have an older son from my previous marriage).
I feel like a single parent of three kids instead of a married woman with 2 kids and husband. To his defense, he does have severe back problems and sleep apnea. I don’t expect him to move mountains up in here, just to help me, and do something more than sit on his ass at the computer playing PC games and twiddling his balls soon as he gets home, and/or watching HOUSE or CSI while I scurry about like a little crackhead doing everything. It’s making me so sick. My only true love is gone forever, and his memory haunts me like a ghost…but I just remember that those days are gone. Now I’m stuck with this lazy oaf who makes me so miserable… somedays I just want to run away with all my savings to Canada or Belgium or Japan or something and start over. Then I think about my kids, and it is like a bitter reality. I’m so unhappy.
He doesn’t stimulate my mind. Ever. He is so mundane and predictable and the only things he gets passionate about are WWE wrestling and beer. Ugh. The way he smells even irritates me. I’ve kept myself up while he’s just fell to the wayside and when I try and wear sexy things he’s rather rendez-vous with the Serta and the mink blankets and start calling the hogs. I haven’t got any good rest in years because of his sleep issues and his snoring, even the night I had the baby in the hospital, he slept on the guest pullout and SNORED all night. Ok, now I’m rambling but I’m so at my wits end.
I cry in the shower and bathroom every day almost and probably drink more than I should. I don’t know i something like this can be fixed. What do you think??? Honestly, if I could give my force to another so that they could live, like some poor kid with leukemia whose parents pray for them to recover daily…I would. And I would expire in their place, because my life just sucks so bad. I’m not even scared to die anymore.
Let’s think..you can shove off and troll someone else.
He just (praise the heavens and stars) got a CPAP machine a few days ago, and so far, things are well on that front.
Best answer:
Answer by Gourmet Flossie
I think that the best outside that could help you would be a therapist, it sound as though you are badly depressed and you need to get right down to the reason of it. I suggest that you go on your own, at least for a few sessions before marriage counselling.
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