Question by nos4rt: Arizona Family Court?
My brothers ex, wanted to take my niece out of state to CA. He took her to court to establish legal paternity, child support & visitation rights. Before that, there arraignment was not legalized but civil. They have been battling in court ever since. She is 3.
His ex married, the marriage lasted a week. Since than she has introduced 5 men into the home. Some livin boyfriends some over night. She has allowed these men to babysit my niece.
She has placed my niece on 2 types of ADHD medication. The first was Adderall. The Adderall, caused convulsions. The primary doc diagnosed my niece with sleep apnea. The mother is insistent that she is ADHD & was prescribed Daytrana. When my niece is in my brother care; she has normal 3yr old behavior. He does not give her the meds.
My brother has brought up these issues in court the judge told him that he cant dictate who come in and out her home & he has no say in the meds.
He fears for her mental & physical wellbeing. Any advice for him
Best answer:
Answer by PAULSC
What the judge said is true.
That said, if he believes his child’s mother is endangering his child, by ignoring medical advice or giving her incorrect medication, he could take the child to doctors of his own choosing, during his visitations, for a second opinion. If he feels the child’s mother is an unfit mother, he can petition the court for sole custody, assuming he is willing to raise the child himself, or he can try to get DCFS involved, if he can’t raise the child, but believes that leaving the child with the mother is dangerous for the child. But those are very, very serious steps to take, and he needs to be prepared to spend tens of thousands of dollars in the fight, with little chance of prevailing. From the outset, he’ll need an attorney, and money for investigators and experts. And these cases are so prejudicial and difficult, all those people will want money up front. And in the end, there is a 10% chance he’ll prevail, and a 90% chance he’ll get his visitation privileges revoked, and still be on the hook for child support to the mother. Men simply don’t win these cases, unless the children are being kept in cages and fed dog food.
The one thing that helps nobody, is to become a frequent flyer in family court, without substantive issues affecting the child’s welfare at issue. So, he cannot demand that his child’s mother live a certain way, or raise his child in a certain way. Within the limits of the law for parenting, she has a right to be a bad mother, if that is what she wants to be.
He might also find that if he shuts up, pays up, and cuts contact with the mother, except for a bare minimum at the times he picks up and returns the child for visitation, that things go better. Often, young women will act out to keep up a fight with a former boyfriend, if that is the only way of being sure of his continued interest. Taking all the drama out of the situation leaves her with the realization that she is raising the child in a situation where nothing she does is going to get him back in communication, except through his attorney, and then, only on questions of the child’s health and welfare. He may find that after months of this, his ex is suddenly looking for ways to share the child rearing burden, and is willing to agree to joint custody, or even to give up custody of the child. Many young women get to that point, when they realize how hard it is to find another guy who wants them and their child, as a package deal “instant family.”
And then they’ll both have a chance to move on with their lives, and do what’s best for the child.
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